Great moments in Customer Service Hisssssssstory!!

This is the blog post 13.5 years in the making!  As you may be aware I work as a Customer Service "Specialist" (I was a Representative but I went through a series of adventures to gain reputation points to gain the new title).  I sit at a computer 8 hrs a day taking calls from a wide array of people.  These are their stories.

Customer #1  Mr John Q Dealmaker sends me a chat message (I do customer service online chat...see above "Specialist" title)  It starts as follows:

JQD:  Hello...I see you h...... (Hello how can you see me...im inside the internet)
JQD you have a magazine, i want to buy it and start with an earlier issue (ok but im not sure i want to give it to you as you can see me it makes me intensly uncomfortable)
KEV I can help you with that but you will need to call me as i dont take orders over chat ( I've tried its just very time consuming and almost always they ask for things that havent been in print since 1997)
JQD I want you give me that earlier issue for free...I'm serious (Not impossible but we charge for back issues...and I know you are serious...and dont call me Shirley)
KEV Well we sell the back issues for 8.00 (cheaper if they order more than 1) give me a call.

We end the chat and he calls a few minutes later

JQD "So you going to give me the issue for free and a discount on the magazine subscription?"  (Um does he have something on me since he can "see me"now he wants a discount and a free magazine)

KEV No sir I will however sell you the back issue for 4.99 and the subscription is 24.00

JQD"Hehe (strange laughter) its a great day (sure) Its a great day to make a deal I think with me.

KEV Sir....I've made a deal with you already

JQD Well you can do better than that

KEV Im not a car salesman sir.  (after almost 14 years of manning the phone, I can sense when the call is going south and I need to be firm, words do have power unless you are this guy).

JQD Well dont you give discounts to clergy? (Yes, and to folks in need, veterans, soldiers, schools, businesses, outreaches, charity groups probably Wal-Mart, Petsmart and Larry's house of Tires if they called.. but they generally dont ask to the point of madness....why couldn't he have mentioned this a bit earlier, and for all I know he just got his clergy license at Kinkos/FedEX)

So then the old saying "the customer is always right"  (groan) popped in my head and I remembered a discount we recently had for new subscribers.

JQD Seeeeeeeeeeeeeee now you made me happpppppppppy (yep said it just like cobra commander yeah and now I have heartburn)


So stayed tuned till next time when I talk of the customer and her puppy...... this has been great moments in Customer Service Hisssssssssstoryyyyyyyyyyy