Dad

Tomorrow is Veterans Day, a day which is set aside to thank and remember those who serve and have served our country.  I am fortunate to have a father who served in the Marines and is very proud of that, as he was stationed in California he never had to go to war but he was prepared to do so. 

He lies in a hospital bed at this moment 67 years old and filled with tubes and monitors.  He had a quadriple bypass today and he came through just fine.  While we sat there today comforting my mother telling her it will be just fine, when deep down in the core of yourself you have doubts, I thought of my dad.  My earliest memories were of him holding me on the couch after a long day at work or letting me watch him build things in the garage.  He was larger than life to me, a superhero who when I needed him, he was there with a smile and a hand to help me.  We drove once to meet a man I believe about some car parts and it was just me and him in his old pickup truck.  We picked up the parts and began to head home, I began to drift off to sleep and laid my head in his lap.  He scratched my head and sang to me a song, Abilene, Abilene, prettiest town I've ever seen Abilene.  I didnt get it but it was ok because he sang it to me.

He worked all the time, sometimes 10-12 hours a day.  Cable TV installer in its early days, forman, warehouse worker, ditch digger anything to put food on the table.  He would come over and slump into the chair, mom had a meal ready for him and he would ask me to rub his feet.  His feet ached so much and I loved him, so I'd rub and rub untill he would fall asleep in the chair.  He'd wake up early mom would hand him over a coffee cup and off he would go.  He did this for over 40 years, never missed a day, always dependible, always dad.  He can strike up a conversation with anyone and always has an opinion about something.  I swear he wore the same 2 outfits for decades as he didnt ask for clothes or shoes just a few tools if something was broken and a hot dog on a piece of bread.  Because of my legs I had to buy special shoes which cost a small fortune and I could only afford once a year,  so he would work extra hours so I could have those shoes.  This type of life made spending time with him hard, but when we did I always cherished it. 

My 1st baseball game was with him Reds vs Giants as we stood in line my father walked up to the front of the line got a policeman and asked if I could move to the front of the line as it was my first game and my legs were acting up.  The officer and crowd obliged him.  I began to believe he was magical.  We went down by the first base side to get autographs and there was the "Cobra"  Dave Parker signing autographs.  We got there as Mr Parker began to walk away.  I then hear "Mr Parker!!  Mr Parker!!  wont you sign an autograph for a handicapped child?!??  As I began to feel the pain of embarassment surrounding me I hear, Hey kid got something for me to sign, your dad really loves you.  I responded with the answer of MRRRPHLJ.  My dad is something else :-)  We spent the rest of the day at a dinner and began the drive home, I fell asleep my dad with his arm around me...."Abilene....Abilene.....(I really should ask him about that).

When I graduated high school, I was accepted to college and I began the process of preparing to leave.  It was down in eastern Kentucky and dad was to drive me down there.  We drove down in a 1984 Renault which got .08 miles to the gallon, and any speed beyond 55 mph the car would shake.  We were passed by every car for over 100 miles by the time we got to Berea, I was sure the car was to explode.  But we got there and dad and I carried my few boxes in.  As we finished up, he turned to me with tears in his eyes "I have never been more proud of you" he kissed me on the head and drove that little blue car back home.  He could have purchased a more reliable car but he wanted to make sure we could have a roof over our head and I could have a little spending money for school.

All these memories flood back to me as I ran to his room this morning just wanting a moment more to see him before they wheeled him in.  This man who to me is larger than life, who should be talked about instead of fame seeking reality show wives or sports figures.  Loving his family for 40+ years, giving till he could give no more laying on that bed looking helpless, fragile and scared.  Dont worry bout me son, I'll be fine  Ill be fine I'll be fine.  I dont want to be at this point at my life regardless of what I believe, I want him to be young again watching westerns with me, singing songs with one verse, working on project that never get finished.  I dont want to see my mother look so fragile and lost without him on the verge of passing out.  I want her to live on singing elvis records to me, getting frustrated at dad and throwing pillows at him.  I dont get to change the past I have to cherish now. 

So Erin and I went into to see him after the surgery and we had just a few moments.  I held his hand and stroked his hair as he lay there asleep.  I told him how much I loved him and joked that he will get the snow blower he wants this Christmas and I notice the nurse taping a "Happy Veterans Day" sign to his door.  I thanked her for the gesture and began to walk out, but dad in case you didnt hear me I sang you a song....."Abilene Abilene....prettiest town I ever seen"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1b2M8u90yQ