1,000,000 things I want to say and 2,000,000 ways I want to say it.

I woke up this morning, to a call from my brother that Dad had a fever and was having complications with his lungs.  It seems as though for the past 2 weeks, every day there is a call and with it a sense of rising dread. I arrived and sat by his bedside in the ICU for about 3 hours and talked to him while the very kind nurse comforted me and offered my a warm blanket and apple juice.  I sat transfixed at my father watching his every breath in hopes of a moment of lucidity as I bored him with stories of the previous days events.  I made sure that he knew that we loved him, that we were proud of him and he was so brave for going through his 2nd surgery in 2 weeks.  His hair has gone mostly gray, with a few sports of dark hair remaining and it was all i could do not to cry when I would see tears form in his eyes as they would move to check him. 

Various doctors came in throughout the day at it seems that now treatment will take a bit longer.   By the end of the evening he finally awoke and we gradually went back into pairs to see him.  I finally saw his eyes and a moment of a smile as he talked briefly to my uncle apologizing for something then apologizing to my wife and then looked at me and said, "I have 1,000,000 things I want to say to you and 2,000,000 ways I want to say it."  Figuring he had discovered my midnight trips to the Mexican border, I did not know how to react.  He also said, "I want you to write something on the computer for me to read."  So if you will allow me a moment more of your time I shall share with you a few of those things he would like me to say on his behalf:

Thank you Lord for giving me another day

Thank you Lord for my precious wife of 39 years we are a matching pair and you have been with me through thick and thin.  You are very precious to me, and you dont have to make me anymore hot dogs on a piece of bread for at least a month!  I love you

Thank you my sons and daughters for getting through this difficult time with only minor injuries.  I am sorry for not always being there for every event but I worked hard to keep food on the table and clothes on your backs.  Thank you for taking care of your mother.

Tara:   I gave you a lot of grief through this but thank you for making me go to the doctor.  I love you Chey, and you too Devin.  Dusty come fix my carburetor (not responsible for misspelled car part names)

David:   I am so proud of who you have become you work so very hard and you never give up, Tara you are perfect for him also...can you pay me while I am in here maybe throw in a little overtime.  Brittany, Nikki & Scott I love you too.

Julie:   Your mom and I love you very much and want you to succeed in life you can do it you just got to get off your rear and do it. (I say rear but you know what dad would really say :-)  ) We love Connor and are so thankful for him

Tracy:   Thank you for staying with me, you are good mother and you tried to rub my feet, it was a decent attempt but only Kevin knows how to rub them.  We love you Maryanne, Rebekkah, Lauren, Christian

Gina:   I am so sorry for all those years I didnt see you and Tim, I do love you and I will make more of an effort to communicate with you.

Carolyn:   I appreciate you and Bobby & Bo coming out to see me.  I wish I lived closer thank you so much for loving and praying for me.

Erin:   I love you and I am impressed with your determination and love.  Serena, Pay-Pay, Katrina & Collin Papaw and Mamaw love you honey.

Obviously there are so many people dad would like to thank but I will leave at that to say this.  Enjoy this thanksgiving whether its you and your cat or you and 23 friends.  There is so much to be thankful for and so little time to express it.  Put aside the differences and Put family back together, wherever they are.  Spend, record, receive every moment that it give you strength during those days and months when you are weary.  Play board games, watch football, make jokes, smile, reflect on all that has been given to us.  Because we are never promised tomorrow, I am just thankful dad got to today.  Hey dad stop reading and go back to sleep!