Funny thing happened on the way to the hospital part 2: Rap attack!

Quick update, mom is improving and barring any major changes will go home today or perhaps tomorrow, please keep her in prayer.


Now with a little more sleep in me allow me to continue to share.  The two boys mother showed up after a long day at work and greeted us and began to attend to her mother.  They talked about the previous night and apparently the youngest grandson stayed up too late after having what his mother called "a rap attack."  The image in my head of me tired but rising up from bed with a Huey Lewis Harmonica attack came into my mind, and I laughed.

Hey man...got something for you

Um sure whats that?

A Zelda Rap I made just for you....

This should be interesting I thought....

(Disclaimer---from my memory might have been slightly different)

Zelda... be out hunting

Evil be around but he aint running

Goona save the princess and save the world 

Not sure how to rhyme about tri-force



I loved every bit of it, even if NERD ALERT Link was really behind the rescue.  Carry on!

I thanked him for the rap, and we talked about how little I recall about Rap (Sorry Jessie May still love you)

Mom at this point woke up and wanted see if her roomie was ok? and we shared some laughter and smiles,

and with that we began to get ready to leave for the night.

Erin, was going to stay and I would go home as I had a pretty nasty chest cold and was losing my voice.

Kissed my love, and then came in another grandson, a little older with a little boy and his wife.  We talked
about kids, discovered we adopted in the stream of things and we talked about the joy of kids. Since Erin was staying and it was a shared room we had to be moved a few doors down.  We promised to see them again and after a few more fist bumps and hugs we were on our way


 All this fellowship, this example of devotion just stirred something inside of me.  I acknowledge I am different and this may not be how everyone handles things but something about kindness, respect, and friendliness just does something to me.  Maybe that's why I have been manning a phone for 15 years :-)

Next morning, bought them a card wishing their grandma a full recovery and got them a couple of gift cards, not because I'm great or my wife, or I was trying to seek any praise, but just because I wanted to thank them for their love to my mother and to us.

I arrived and it was the grandsons visiting mom asking if she goona get another big mac, she laughed and said pot roast today my friend and after a few minutes he started to leave...

Aren't you going to give me a hug young man?

Can I??  sure!

Mom's blood pressure has been back and forth and as we tried to help her sleep I learned that the grandsons were leaving perhaps for the rest of the day.  It was then my mother said "you better go tell them good bye.

I made my way over with erin and after a few smiles, handed them the card, It was then the smiles came to tears.

Why did you do this??

You are good people!

I mean I just don't understand...you don't see my ...and for the first time he hesitated

Your color?

Yeah...

You are right, I don't "see" it I see a young man who loves his family his grandma and my mom you just happen to be black and I am a older balding fat man who happens to be white.

We hugged, "you are now my brother, I will never forget you Mr Bridgers, can I rap for you one more time?

Sure man, let it rip (probably a more hip response, but my hips hurt usually)

I won a talent show at school with this take a listen... (from memory)

Hundreds of years we were in chains

too many years spent as slaves

people all excited about the president you see

but it cant be all about him  change has to start with me

Education, knowledge that is the key

Stay in school and try to believe

keep love in your heart as Jesus says

and try to treat others as friends.

Did you like it?  You know my grandma got up on the stage with me and rapped

I couldn't form words for a moment, remembering growing up, remembering my father's confederate flag and putting that little scholastic newspaper announcing the official Martin Luther King holiday next to it writing "take down the flag dad"  He did.  Our family for its warts and failings strive to love others and I am thankful for that.

Did you like it?!!!??

Yes I did,you keep the meaning of the song together change those hearts and minds and remember the love the Christ has for you, you will do amazing things.  You are amazing!

So much love, and we parted ways, noticing...there was no curtain dividing us anymore, all started with cutting up a salad


Mom, we love you thank you for loving us and loving others

Funny thing happened on the way to the hospital....Part one

Interesting weekend to say the least, was was to be a Dr Who evening be came a weekend of worry, frustration and in the end understanding.

Mom went to the hospital with what we believed was a stroke related fall and as of this blog writing is recovering (no stroke) and hopefully will be out tomorrow.  We drove to a hospital a bit farther out of the way, at her request because she just could not be at the hospital where dad died.  She is weary and my family is tired.  Life just seems to wind you down at times, but she still has fight in her.  Who wants to keep fighting this ongoing mass of hospitals, sickness and tears?

After waking up at 4:30 in the morning to a call from sister we assessed the situation, decided to go to the hospital.  My amazing mother in law who I simply don't deserve came right away from an hour and a half away and took care of the kids.  Her embrace gave me strength as we got in the car, and we were on our way. By the time we arrived mom had just been admitted and soon I went back to see her.  She was as white as a sheet and I was scared.  Best we can figure she had fallen and had been in the floor for a couple of hours at least.  After a while she was admitted to a room, and we discovered we were not alone.

"Can I go home toooooo-day?"  "I want out now"  were the words we heard across the sheet that divided our two lands.  I must admit, I was worried this mysterious lady and mom were going to compete in chants.  Mom got settled in and as medicines were administered mom's color began to return and soon she began to eat.  Calls were made and facebook messages were sent and things seemed to improve. 

To-day!  Can I go home today?  Someone tell me if I can go home today?  The lady across the border began crying out and with that Erin's Social Worker Senses started tingling...

Hello!  Can I help you maam, do you want me to get your nurse?

Nurse!!!!  Can I go home TOOOOODAY ?

Er...um...Im not a....let me check

Erin this is not your hospital, stop it I jokingly said, but as the lady continued we discovered she was alone and Erin kept an eye on her.

Mom began to talk and recall the events of her fall, and were visited by her old pastor, and hoped for others to visit.  Our roomie finally had some visitors, two young men who we discovered were her grandsons.  The official nurse came in and erin stood close....ready to check on her again.

Mom was in and out of the room having tests done, and while we waited for her return, the boys left briefly and we heard

Where are you nurse?  Somebody tell me when I am going home?  Erin disappears helping her with her oxygen mask that got to the top of head, and just asked her how she was doing.  I WANT SOME SCOTCH!  Um I doubt the hospital has that, how bout I cut your food up instead for you.  Erin had officially begun to work for the hospital, now dealing with two patients. 

The boys came back and were surprised to find Erin had fixed her food, mask and just talked with her.  As the day wore on my thoughts drifted to losing dad, hoping that with each test mom would recover.  I prayed and asked for wisdom, peace and healing for my mother, Erin telling me she loved me and watching my sister work with mom and the nurses, giving and receiving information and using big words (sister is a cardiac nurse).  Meanwhile every five minutes or so, we would hear "I want to go home!"  One grandson, would speak into ear, now grandma they said you cant go home today, we love you have to get better, we only have one grandma.  Besides the lady who cut your food is good people and her momma is sick too we need to respect them.  The younger brother seemed pre-occupied with his music and was dancing bouncing up and spinning occasionally with the music.  I started daydreaming I was singing with Huey Lewis and the News, soon our worlds would collide...over a video game.

Mom was sleeping and my head was hurting from leaning up against the bed rail praying for mom.  Erin had left the room and I grabbed my handheld gaming device.

You like games?  he said from across the room

Oh yeah....for the moment feeling silly that his kid sees me playing a game instead of I dunno adult things, drinking fiber...reading technical manuals.

What kinda games you like?

When am I GOING HOME %@##!!

Grandma!  don't be cursing now, these peoples mama don't need to hear that

We smiled, and we talked a little bit about games and he talked about hoping to get  a ps4

Erin came in and peeked around the corner

NURSE YOU CAME BACK TO ME!

The grandsons thanked her for helping and began to talk to my mom, asking "when you gonna get your grub on"  Mom smiled and thanked the boys for caring.  The curtain that separated us began to move a further back.


Soon the boys mom came from work and we shared stories of our families, and her boys began to ask there mom for some money for drinks and left for a bit giving Erin mom & I fist bumps as we left.  Something seemed so different about this family and I liked it.

Getting sleepy...so will do part two tomorrow about the Rap Attack!!

Payten

There is an older lady at my church, and for as long as I can remember she has struggled with communicating with others.  You can tell there is something there that is missing and usually she spends the church service muttering to herself.  I believe our church to be a very loving church, but in the hustle and bustle of greetings and goodbyes she is usually by herself.  Well that is, until she meets my Payten.

We were quite new as foster parents and were concerned that our daughters would be going home soon.  we then got a call of a little girl and boy that were close to having the parental rights terminated, and after some prayer and talking decided we would pursuit another placement.  The Foster Mom had a friend that lived in our neighborhood, and she brought over pictures of Payten.  She was beautiful, I felt so inadequate to be considered to take care of her.  Over the course of a few months she stayed with us and we loved each other, and later that year she became ours forever.

When you are in training, you basically mark on a checklist what you would be willing to work with, disabilities, abuse, drugs, social issue, race, religion.  It seemed easy to us, after all I have Cerebral Palsy, my dream was to help children with disabilities.  Some disabilities and conditions are easy to spot, others not so easy.  This is where the love comes in Payten was diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, which can include being exposed to drugs and alcohol, so you enter in a situation with almost no medical history and few answers.  As Payten grew, she had some physical and occupational therapy but she always smiled, her deep blue eyes melting your heart.  She began to forms words and with words attachments to everything that hops crawls and flies as she would say one night while praying.  If she saw someone she began to talk to them and would hug complete strangers, Erin and I always near and always ready to apologize to whatever parent, stranger, grocery store clerk she would hug.  Always they would smile and say thank you.  So much love, but soon those blue eyes would become cloudy, a storm was brewing inside of her.  It began with the inability to stay on task, I recall one moment where she was to change her clothes and get ready for bed, she would go to her room, then ask what was I doing again, getting dressed I would say, she would say ok, then go make a bowl of cereal, clothes optional. After many instances and through research, training, talks with our doctor, and prayer we learned of ADHD

I am not a fan of medicine, even with the constant pain my legs are in, I fear they will fog my mind, and I carried that fear over to Payten.  I didn't want to lose her, the stories the smile, the unwavering love she shows others.  The doctor reassured me if anything was causing issues we would stop and try something else.  At this point payten was getting aggressive with her sisters, and then she would cry and in a quivering voice "Daddy why am I hurting"  You are never ready for the hurt questions, you yearn to tear at and remove anyone or anything that hurts your girls but how do you stop something that is inside the one you love.  So we began the slow process of medicine, some medicine kept her awake, some knocked her out.  One particular medicine made her incapable of calming down, she would scream so loudly I couldn't remember the blue eyes.  My daughters became scared of her, this was going to be a battle.  So we got more training, information and support.  Love is more than words, it is tight hugs, it is looks in the eye and smiling.  It is restless nights sitting at the end of the bed.  It is prayer. 

Finally, after what seemed like forever I came home from work, just an ordinary day but this time, there she was at the top of the steps, "Daddy...there you are!"  I saw those blue eyes, the raging sea inside her was calmer.  I wish for a day, in which people would understand her completely, where she can find a true friend, where people can see beyond the impulsiveness and occasional frustration and see her humor, her smile, her love for others and obsession with Ice Cream.  Lord give me the strength to see my children grow up.

So here we are the night before she turns 8yrs old, I asked her what her favorite memory of 7 was, "Chasing Cats" she said.  So what do you think about 8?  Well I made a friend today!

You see the Lady I mentioned at the beginning....From Serena

Daddy, you know the lady who sits by herself?
Sure, sweetie
Payten went up to her today
She did???
Yeah Payten asked her if she liked Ice Cream, and she told payten yes
What did payten do?
She said lets be friends then and they shook hands.

Payten, I love you Happy Birthday thank you for teaching me everyday. You are spectacular and I enjoy every moment.  Thank you for loving Mommy and me 

Collin

Yes I know, it has been awhile.  I find myself uncomfortable writing about my life at times, everyone has that crazy relative, that interesting friend or neighbor.  Their kids are filled with stories, so why bother folks with mine.  Today is special :-)


You were unexpected.  Mommy and I were moving on with our lives with three girls.  I was fine with that but always in the back of my mind had a thought of what would it be like to have a son.  Would you like cars, baseball, Final Fantasy, chicken.  Would you and I sit in the floor playing transformers, would you hold my hand?  Would we spend time in the emergency room?  Well no sense in thinking about it now I thought, I got girls to raise.

Then as usual for the last 7 years or so, the phone rang....

This is Kevin how can...

Heeeeeeeeees in care

Who is....

Collin!

Huh

BJRGRRRACT (Mommy talk....so happy words become sounds)

In my job, I attempt to have what I call a "clarifying" moment, where I try to summarize what they are saying, in hopes I can get us both on the same page early on.  Shockingly enough, this does not work with your mommy.

I had to put her on hold, collect my thoughts and dive back in.  You were in a home of a friend of ours and you were sick.  You were orange, and if you did not get help soon you would have died.  Forget all the daydreams, I just want you to live.

Biliary Atresia, Kasai Procedure, Liver Biopsy, Gall bladder removal, liver transplant down the road, all of these things were either discussed or done within a 72 hour period.  As we had already began adoption of your two birth sisters we began to talk to your birth mom and dad again.  Always try to find answers, don't begin with anger look for the common ground my son.  All of us agreed we would stay with you as much as we could, for now thinking this would be temporary.


People are funny son, you can know them for all your life and still be surprised at them in the blink of an eye.  Your birth mom and Dad, decided your health issues were too much to bear, and signed over their rights to raise you.  They gave you a gift of amazing love.  We are thankful for and love them.

So from hospital bed to pre-school bus on the way to the zoo.  You have grown so much, you love to show me your super speed, and you are my best buddy.  Life is greater with you in it :-)  I still have much to learn, I will fail, I will fall.  You will make amazing friends that stand with you, you will lose friends that will cause your heart to ache.  You will meet that girl, have that kiss and have your heart broke.  Be kind son, love others son, protect your sissys, be honorable and compassionate.  Have fun being 5 years old.  Mom and I will be beside you, aiding, loving, helping. We will meet the later challenges together as a family.  I love you son

Foster Parent Month

You see them, in movies typically cast as society misfits, religious nut jobs, or psycho serial killers.  The dad is usually aloof and the mother dresses the children in matching potato sacks.  They are in league with "the state" in keeping the children away from hard working parents.  They are foster parents.  I know I know I might be a smidge over dramatic, but my goal is to sell a plot to the Lifetime movie network, and roll in the Direct-to-DVD dough.  

She was fostering......a horrible secret!!!  *groan*  starring Jane Seymour

Hmm...let me get back on track here

May is Foster Parent Month, at least i hope it is, Facebook generally has sketchy information.  I wanted to share from my heart, some thoughts on foster parenting

-Foster Parenting a child sure beats foster parenting a lion
-Buy lots of spare keys for all your vehicles, and while you are at check with your neighbors
-Really don't buy new furniture for awhile
-Don't expect your kids to come with instructions, be patient and speak softly
-Get help you need support, if possible from other foster parents
-Family will let you down, learn that quick and work together to change that
-Be thankful for the little things, that little one who just finally started to eat may have been weeks without a decent meal, that one syllable is a symphony to the one who does not speak
-The successes greatly outweigh the failures, the smiles defeat the frowns
-Be consistent to love and resistant to anger
-Forgive Confusion and Ignorance, reject favoritism and ridicule
-Make sure the potty....is clearly marked
-Get over yourself if you are in this for the praise or money, don't even bother, please you will do so much more harm than good.
-Put on a puppet show, sing songs, read stories, be creative, use some imagination.
Being a foster parent, means making a difference in a child's life, for if just for a moment. 

Trust me I struggle with ideas of failure, and ineptness alot to my kids.  I am not perfect.  If you have questions don't hesitate to ask me.

Winter and Pretty Blue Eyes

This is a story for my daughter Payten, who received a hermit crab from her Aunt Colleen last night.  Payten loves animals more than people at times it seems

The Hermit Crab walked gently across the sand and carefully examined his new home.  He found the palm tree to his liking, and there was even a bowl with some yummy treats inside.  I am going to make sure I climb everywhere, he proclaimed and off he went.

Climbing up the tree, he found it not to his liking as it crashed into the food bowl.  I am most certainly not a snack! He crawled toward the door and using his claws tried to open the door.  Oh this will not do, I want to roam free.  He looked up the the sky and saw the bars and was very surprised to see two blue eyes staring down at him.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!  My name is Payten Maree, or Pay-Pay for short, would you like to be my friend?

The hermit crab heard the sounds but could not understand as Hermit Crabs don't understand kids till they get out of Hermit crab school.  He clicked his claws to say,  let me out right now!!  Payten smiled and said "I bet you want out don't you, Id really like to sleep with you but I cant fit in the cage (Payten knows a little hermit crab).  Hermit Crab began to realize his situation and started to go back into his shell, when it began to rain.  It was coming from the eyes of the little blue eyed girl.  Oh no!  this will never do and out of the shell he came and cried out "You are making my home a mess, please don't cry!" 

I'm sorry if you are sad but I will take good care of you mister hermit crab I promise.  Ill keep you away from my daddy as he killed my rainbow fish.  (The author did not).  I will name you winter because you look like a snowball, but I wont put you in the freezer! (Nor will the author)

As Winter now looked up and saw her his heart grew warm as her pretty blue eyes comforted him.  I think I will like it here, and he scooted over to pretty blue eyes and let her pet him on the shell.  They were very happy, then the earthquake came....rumble rumble rumble.  That's my brother Collin..... we better run!    The End!

Father to Son

Dear Collin,

Hey best buddy its daddy happy 4th birthday!  I love you!  Were you a good boy today?  You are my Stinky Boy!!

When you came to us, it was unexpected we thought there would be no more after you.  We wanted more kids, and I had hoped that maybe someday I might have a son.  I need you to know some things son about me just a few thoughts I have.  I don't expect you to understand right away, but someday when I am no longer here you might find these words and remember.

Always love others, even when they hate you

Show compassion whenever possible there are billions of people on this planet,

Be slow to anger, you cant take back the words after you speak them

Quick to help, if you can volunteer do so

Look someone in the eye and listen to them, even if you don't agree

Don't be scared to stand up for what you believe in, but be willing to listen (listening is a theme you will be made aware of alot during your life) to what they have to say, nobody gets anywhere by yelling your wrong and walking away.

Mommy and I are going to mess up alot, be patient because you will to :-)

Love your sissys, they will knock out the bullies

Whatever happens today, ends tomorrow (easy to say hard to do)

Praying never hurts

Your heart will be broken but...(see above) you will get through it

Love and respect your mother for she loves you and takes care of you in ways that I can not.

Don't worry if you don't have the best stuff, everything breaks eventually

Don't be afraid to be wrong

There are true friends out there...you will need to be a friend to find them (after all you are named after one of them :-)

There is one friend above all I want you to know and that is Jesus, when you have questions I will do my best to answer them.

We have more adventures ahead I know, and I cant wait!  I love you son, thank you for loving me