When we first had the kids come into care with us, we would take them to a daycare while we worked during the day. One day when Erin picked up the kids, the manager came to her and told her during the playtime activities outside the kids were brought in for nap and after about 20 minutes or so the realized Payten was no where to be found. They searched the bathrooms and closets and finally realized they left her outside. It was a fenced in area, and she was in a corner crying. The door was locked and they could not hear her cries to come in. I would like to say the manager received kind words and understanding, but that would be lying :-)
I love being a parent. I love the almost daily discoveries my children make the questions that they ask. I have hopes and dreams for them. I try to listen to what they say to gain understanding of what is important to them. I raise my voice, I talk calmly. I settle disputes, break up fights, and sing with them. I think about them all the time, the successes and the failures of my parenting. I was working on my 17 part lecture in the car "Lets love each other and love others" and the kids were silent as I spoke. I looked at Payten and she was looking out the window. Payten is very loving and very emotional and pretty much just says whatever comes to mind. She has been diagnosed as ADHD, and there have been struggles with that, on our end with being patient, her end with focusing, and unfortunately people on the outside that believe it to be a myth or an escapist way to "drugging our children" to make them behave. I am not going to spend time on that today, we made the best decision based on prayer and research so if you want to talk about that later we can do that over lunch :-)
So I drop the kids off and they each come to me with hugs and payten goes in carrying the giant gymbag, and Collin says "Wait sissy I will help you" and he grabs that bag that is almost as heavy as he is and walks into the school with payten following behind. huzzah! My children are helping! My ego began to inflate to the awesomeness of my parenting and I drove to work.
I texted Erin with the events of the day, and she told me a story that happened yesterday, Payten was picked up early for a doctors appointment and Collin was in the car. As Payten approached he told Erin, "Sissy sure is pretty!" Payten responded without skipping a beat "Finally! Somebody thinks I'm pretty!" My heart sank. I make every effort to encourage my children every day, telling them I love them, they are beautiful. Even still that is what she said. AM I listening to her enough, am I too hard on her? So many emotions flying through my mind. Kids can be hard to handle, uplifting and sometimes discouraging, but one thing I picked up on early on, they are more honest in what they face then us adults. As I learn to march to the beat of Payten's particular drum, I pray for friends to love her and understand her. I pray for support for our family and especially for Payten for someone to open that door for her, include her, respect her and love her. Don't let someones differences and disabilities defeat love and friendship
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