I started back at work today after an extended period of time off, to try to begin to deal with the loss of my Dad. Having the peace that he is in heaven is such a great comfort, but I find myself fighting other feelings and frustrations that under any other circumstance would just not exist. I took the girls to school today and as they opened the door the looked up to the sky and said "Good morning Papaw" "We miss you" "I hope you are having a good breakfast" I've spent the last couple of nights dealing with thoughts of jealousy, bitterness and anger. I've asked for distance but yet get upset when I haven't heard from folks, I mean what sense does that make? My goal is to live a life honoring to my father and assess where I am as a person. I can only do that one day at a time with the help of my amazing wife, children family and friends. So for today I end with this:
Good Morning Dad
I miss you
I hope you are having a good breakfast
As you know Kevin, I lost my Mom a year and a half ago. You will get through this. It gets better with time. I still miss her and just the thought of her makes me cry. I have found that occupying my time with helping others or just spending time with my children has helped. There are support groups as well if you feel inclined to go that route. Honestly, I never really dealt with her death. Just have been numb kind of ever since. So, I hope and pray for you that you do seek counsel and cope in a healthy way with this. God is so much bigger than this life and He loves you and will carry you.
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