Her curly hair was the first thing I noticed. All of these little springs bouncing up and down, I mean how does hair do that? I am all about buzzed hair the curls had me entranced. The next thing I noticed was the rainbow outfit, top and pants. Your sister was in the nursery and I think I thought once the social worker saw us she would turn right around and take you home because mommy and me were not ready.
The worker came, said a few words and that she would meet us next week. I thought she would come home with us, maybe even stay a few hours. All the months of training I was forgetting, my attention diverted by a 4 day old girl and you. Your tears began to wrap themselves around my heart, and all I wanted to do was make faces at you hoping to crack a smile. Instead, you cried louder and only let mommy hold you. I carried your sister out to the van and for the first time put you in your car seat. You cried all the way to our house, and I was trying to remember how many steps to the upstairs, so when I carried you in I wouldn't trip. We walked in, and you saw a dog for the first time, and SCREEEEEEEAMED.
I laid in the bed with you and began to pat your back, I tried to remember some kids songs and I think muddled through Twinkle Twinkle and the 80's GI Joe theme song. I was even doing the patting wrong as you moved my hand to your diaper and started patting. There are 2 kids in our house....no 9mths, no baby shower, just here and now.
Last night you wanted me to lay with you and Payten, reminding me it had been awhile since Mommy had been sick at least. Both you and I are bigger and your toddler bed has been replaced by a never comfortable to daddies bunk bed. We talked about cakes, and shopping, baby dolls and stars. I watched you drift off to sleep, remembering those early days and amazed I didn't somehow break you or lose you. You are a treasure, a priceless treasure that continues to take my breath away. You still hold my hand, you tell me good bye and ask me when I am coming home. I haven't done it all right, too many nights of video games or raising my voice, but you show me unchanging love. I watched with amazing as your read your first book, had me pull the car over when you asked me If you could trust Jesus into your heart. I had some crazy dreams growing up, but now I can't imagine anything better than being your dad. I love you Serena, thank you for loving and believing in me.
You are the sweetest thing
a father could ever have
four parts love one part mischief
when you ask to hold my hand
As the days go by and you grow up
from child to teen to woman
I will try to keep up
while helping you move forward
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