Best Buddies

Somehow it still just doesn't seem possible to me, that I am a father.  I grew up in a period of time where fathers on TV were doctors whose wives were also lawyers and family problems were solved 30 minutes or less.  Greatest catastrophes usually involved discovering the report card had been altered or that someone....might be smoking.  Steve Urkel would then exclaim "Did I do that?" canned audience laughter and see you next week.

Been going to a Wednesday night activity for a little over a year now and recently Collin has come of age to where he can join in on the fun.  There are games and songs and activities with a Christian theme to them, the girls enjoyed them last year and Collin is so excited to go.  He and I at this point in our lives "best buddies" which after I ask him if we are he smiles hugs me and gives me the thumbs up sign.  It is the simple things that bring me joy.  We've dropped him off with our last moment for the next hour and half is the thumbs up and the "I uv u daddddddie."  Off he goes and for just a moment I have a retirement commercial vision, where he is 30 and coming to my house to thank me for telling him about the Gerber life insurance plan.  His last couple of visits however have ended with a phone call asking to pick him up as he just a little too interested in grabbing others a little too tight.  The first time resulted with him having to skip a week while we explained the finer points of non-tackle friendship, we extended this out for two weeks and were confident that we were behind it. 

"Mr Bridgers, I don't want to have to make this call"  Where is my comedic comeback to this moment, where the audience laughs as I make Rudy clean his room?  This time a little too touchy to a little child and a call to both sets of parents.  I go to pick him up and there my little buddy is between 2 teachers, he runs to me and give me a big hug.  "He is really a sweet boy" (Yes he is just got energy in spades)  "Would you like the teacher to tell you of the incident" (Can I just say "Did HEEEEEEEE do that? laugh and call it a night?).  Sigh.....I just don't....well Erin and I have been working with....I am very sorry.  I can make excuses with the best of them I assure you, but all I could do is look at my best buddy and remember when he came to us orange, on the verge of organ failure, thinking back to Valentines Day when I got to shout at the rooftops "He's mine!" He's come so far his speech improving daily yet, in his first real time with kids his own age with out me and Erin near him he's struggling.  Am I not being consistent enough? 

Then I hear these words, "We know hes just a little boy trying to have fun, how can we help him?"  I struggle to formulate an answer as Erin has the van warmed up long enough for me to toss the kids in and speed off.  Apparently my son is quite loved there and no one wants to see him go, an hour or so later we discover the child he was too rough with is the child of the friend of Erin who wanted us to come.  "We know Collin is great, please don't take him out, we would love to help too" 

In foster parenting one big point that is hammered over and over again is make sure you have support as the road to their adulthood is filled with problems not easily solved as soon as the sensitive sitcom music begins to play.  It takes friends and family, mommies and daddies to get through this storm.  You may look at this and think this isn't a really big deal, but if I don't have a plan for the small moments how do I get through the big ones down the road...you know when Collin goes for a joyride in the principals car and crashes it and Zack and Kelly aren't there to help him (Saved by the Bell reference for the win).  Now if you will excuse me I have to lay back down with my best buddy.  Cue my music......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ym2PaYk2DU&feature=related

PS  Erin I love you...you are a great mom